my first post.

I have been wanting to do this for a long time but haven't been able to get around to it.  One of my friends has a blog about the daily life of her family.  She has triplets and I have no idea how she does it.  Just to give you a little background on me.  I have to beautiful twin boys.  There names are Dylan and Conner.  They were born November 9th, 2008.  They were conceived by the popular way of getting pregnant these days, which is the help of modern technology.  I'm not sure anybody gets pregnant by having good ole sex anymore.  I have something called PCOS.  That is a fancy way of saying that I needed help to ovulate.  I took a lot of different drugs to help that process along, but injections were the trick.  They actually worked to good.  We did IUI (interuterine insemination)  and got 5 babies.  I had complications that ended me in and out of the hospital and had to eventually reduce to 2 babies.  To say that it was hard would be the biggest understatement of my life.  I know now that my husband and I made the right decision but I still think about it all of the time.  I do have 2 beautiful boys that are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.  Getting them here was also a huge struggle.  They were born at 30 weeks.  I have a massive abruption that caused them to come early.   I was put in the hospital for a week before they were born.  The doctors put me on Magnesium.  I am convinced that if the United States wants to get answers from terrorist then they should put them on a Mag drip and watch all of their secrets come pouring out.  I felt like my insides were burning.  I couldn't see straight because my eyes kept crossing.  It was miserable, but I kept telling myself it was all worth it.  I have to say it was but there were times that I doubted it.  Once the boys got here it was a circus.  They were immediately taken away to the NICU and I didn't get to see them forever.  They were so tiny.  Dylan weighed in at 2lbs 15oz and Conner 3lbs 2oz.  The looked like little rats.  They were so fragile and there was nothing I could do to make them better.  They weren't even 24 hours old and I already felt like a failure as a mother.  Conner had to a chest tube when he was three days old because of a pneumothorax.  That is a fancy way of saying he had an air leak in his lung.  I thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened.  Little did I know it was about to get a whole lot worst.  Dylan, my other son, had a heart arrhythmia that was found in utero.  Everyone kept telling me that it was okay and benign.  I really didn't understand what "benign" meant, but it sounded like it was going to be okay.  That was not the case.  Once he was born they discovered he had 2 arrhythmias.  He had a SVT(super ventricular tachycardia) arrhythmia.    Now most of the time this is not something that is life threatening however Dylan's was not able to be controlled with the usual medications.  Everything that they tried wouldn't work.  On his 5th day of life he was so sick we thought we were going to loose him.  His heart rate ran over 300 beats per minute for 6 or 7 hours.  He was transferred out of the hospital over to Children's Hospital.  The doctors were able to get him under control and we were able to return to the original hospital with Conner.  I was so thankful for this because we were having to go between two hospitals that were about 2o minutes apart.  I know that doesn't seem like much but we were 30 minutes from the closest one and 50 from the furthest one.  It was exhausting.  We went through 10 medications before the doctors finally got it right and had his heart under control well enough for us to come home.  The boys were in the hospital for 9 weeks.  They came home 2 days before their due date.  Conner came home wireless but Dylan had to wear a monitor to tell us when he was having a heart episode.  When he has an episode it is so scary.  The crazy part is that out of all the technology in the world the thing that will bring him out of it is a bag of ice to his forehead.  I know that sounds crazy but it works, and if it doesn't work then we get in the car and start speeding to the hospital.  I learned in the 9 weeks we were in the hospital that doctors are great but they really don't know half of the answers to your questions.  It is all just an educated guess.  Before all of this happened I really thought that there was a right answer and a wrong answer when it came to medicine, but I quickly learned that there is about 10.  They just pick the one that sounds the best and hope it works.  I understand that they went to school for a long time to make these educated guesses and I am glad that it is them and not me but it can be so frustrating when you just want a straight answer.  That is not something you will ever get when it comes to medicine.  That is run down on me and the boys up until they came home.  I hope that this will be a place where mothers can come and feel safe about expressing how they feel and what they go through on a daily basis.  I will be writing about my daily life bringing up twin boys.  I already have 5 months worth of craziness to get on here.  To say that I had no idea of what I was getting myself into is the understatement of the century.  Oh, did I mention that I was a nanny before I had kids?  I thought I was prepared for all of this, but I really have no clue what I am doing half of the time.  Stay sane and keep breathing!!!