SERIOUSLY!!! I might be going crazy

I got to take a shower this morning!!!  This isn't something that happens that often, but I thought that the boys are getting old enough for me to have like 10 minutes.  Of course I put them in the bathroom with me in one of their bouncy seats and leave the door open so they can see me.  I do realize this might scar them later in life with but right now they are going to have to deal with it.  I don't want to shut the door because I'm afraid they might not realize that I am still there.  The picture of me naked in the shower might have scared them more than thinking that I wasn't there.  The reason that I think I'm going crazy is because when I was in the shower I was trying to hurry and get everything washed as fast as possible.  I was about to get out when I realized that I had not conditioned my hair yet.  So I put the conditioner in my hair and I must have gotten distracted because before I knew it I was out and dried off before I realized that I had forgotten to wash the conditioner out of my hair.  So not only did I forget to put it in first but I forgot to wash it out as well.  Needless to say my hair is looking beautiful today.  I guess it can't be all bad.  At least it will get some well needed conditioning until I get to wash it again.  I get to get a shower about once every three days.  I know that is gross but I'm pretty pumped that it is that often.  The wonderful life of having twins.  Some time there will come a time when they will both take a nap at the same time and I will have that time to myself.  Until then I will just have to make due.

Hair loss

This post will be short and sweet.  I wish someone would have let me in on the secret that you loose your hair after you have had a baby.  About 4 months after the boys were born I started loosing massive amounts of hair.  I seriously thought something was wrong with me.  Joe actually saw all of the hair on the shower wall one day and he wanted to take me to the doctor.  I just attributed it to stress and the thought that maybe someone was slipping me some kind of drug in my drink.  Well, luckily I was at Laura's baby shower and hair lose subject actually came up.  Well, you can imaging my relief when I realized I was dying and that it was completely normal.  Apparently if you breast feed it is worse to.  So to all of the mom's to be or new moms out there get ready.  It is awful and will clog your drain up.  I would suggest getting some kind of hair catcher for the drain.  hope all is well

Other People's children

Okay I love kids as much as the next person.  I mean I was a nanny.  However, I can't stand unruly children and parents that do nothing about them!!  I took Dylan to the doctor today to get the reflux stuff under control and there was this little girl in the waiting room with her mother.  She was probably 18 months or so.  She was pointing at Dylan and saying baby and touching his leg.  I was completely fine with this.  I don't care if someone touches him, just not his face or hands.  I have become so worried about germs.  Anyway, I turned my head to get something out of my bag and all of the sudden Dylan starts screaming.  This little monster has dug her fingernails into the top of Dylan's head and is hitting him on the leg.  I have no idea what prompted this other than I focused my attention on something else and she didn't like it.  Poor Dylan :(  His little head was bleeding and God love him he has my skin so it was so red and irritated.  So I am about to drop kick this little kid when I come to my senses and tell myself this won't be the first time nor the last that he gets hurt by a kid.  I also not blind to the fact that he will probably impose some pain on some kids as well, but I will definitely discipline for doing it.  which leads me to my point of this post.  The mother did absolutely nothing to her child and that made me so mad.  I was upset about what happened, but for her not to do anything made me livid.  She did apologize to me but still.  All I am saying is if your child does something to someone's kid at least make an effort to get on to them.  That way they hopefully won't do it again.  

I HATE REFLUX!!!!!

I seriously think that I am going to lose it very very soon.  Dylan has got awful reflux (or that is what the doctor thinks it is)!!!!  He starts screaming the moment the nipple touches his lips.  There won't even be any milk in the nipple and he is already screaming.  I am at a stand still because I really don't know what to do.  He won't eat and when he does eat it is taking him an hour or more to do it.  He is burning more calories than he is taking in.  I got gripe water today.  I'm hoping that coupled with his prevacid will start helping.  I have called the GI doctor and I am waiting for a call back from them.  Of course nothing is as important to them as it is to you.  I was in tears yesterday! Not only do I have to deal with Dylan taking a hour to eat I have to deal with Conner screaming.  He can't pacify himself for that long.  I really don't know what to do.  It has got to get better.  If anybody has any suggestions please feel free to let them flow.  I feel awful because I get so frustrated with Dylan, and I know it's not his fault.  He has always been a great eater and now Conner is blowing him out of the water.  I'm not totally convinced it is reflux but right now that is all I have until somebody tells me differently.  Hope all is well with everybody.  

Let the craziness begin

We brought the boys home January 9th, 2009 and it was absolutely wonderful.  Thank goodness that I had so much help.  I have no idea what I would have done.  The boys were eating every 3 hours and they were taking about 30 minutes each to eat.  So if you do the math that is an hour for feeding , because they were 30 minutes apart.  So that left me 2 hours to pump, eat, sleep, and get ready for the next feeding.  The boys had to have special stuff put in their milk so it was a process to fix their bottles, and for some reason I was convinced I was the only one that could make it right.  You live and learn.  If I had to do it all over I would definitely let other people make bottles.  I made myself crazy worrying about getting bottles ready and making sure that the boys had their medications on time.  I am sure most first time moms can relate to what I am saying.  I did have wonderful help and their is no way I could ever express how thankful I am to them.  I wouldn't have made it without them.  

As the boys get older it has started to get a little bit easier.  Conner has started playing on his play mat by himself and Dylan is getting there.  Conner is really good with pacifying himself, but Dylan not so much.  I felt so bad last week when I took him to the doctor.  He has become an absolute nightmare to feed.  He screams if he even sees a bottle but yet he sucks on his hand and is starving.  He won't let me cradle him to feed him.  I have to hold him straight up and down.  After going through this for about a month I was so frustrated.  I actually thought that he was doing it to try me.  I know that he is only 5 months old but I had no other answer.  I was so tired and worn out that I really thought that my 5 month old was trying to upset me by screaming and not eating.  So we go to the pediatrician last Thursday and she tells me that it sounds like he has reflux really bad.  Well, naturally I feel like that biggest horses butt in the whole world.  My poor child is feeling like there is glass going down his throat and I'm thinking he is just trying to piss me off.  I got the medication that day to help and hopefully it will work.  I can't say that it is all that better today but I am hoping that by tomorrow it will have had enough time to get in his system and start working really good.  When I didn't have kids I was convinced that I would be a good mother, but now that I have them I don't have a clue what is going on half the time.  I have said all along that all of your brain cells go out of your uterus when you have kids, and it takes a good couple of years to recover.  Hope all is well.  Until next time......

God Bless My Husband

I know that most of you think you have the best husband in the world, and they probably are, but I truly believe mine might be a saint.  I don't know if I mentioned in my earlier post that I had to have a C-section, but I did.  The events that took place up to me having my section were actually pretty comical.  I never felt any pain when I had my abuption which was really nice, so it made for some great comments from myself.  I have a tendency to talk a lot when I get nervous.  Anyway, there were at least 3 people in my room at all times when I started bleeding and they were all looking at my "who who".  For some reason they all thought that they had to know what was going on down there, and I'm not really sure what they were looking for.  When the doctor got to my room I found out that he had just moved to Atlanta and started at the practice that I used.  I guess I got to break him in right.  He was really great and made me feel really comfortable.  However, he also had to look at was going on down there as well.  He asked one of the many nurses for a flashlight and I thought that he would be using one of those little lights that most of the doctors carry around in their jackets.  NOPE, I was wrong.  He wanted a real flashlight!!!  Now I know that I had gained some weight but I had no idea that when you got pregnant that everything down there grew so much that he needed a flashlight that could be used to spot light a deer.  Of course my husband is beside me this whole time and watching in amazement as three people have got their hands all up in my business.  Now he isn't the most sturdy when it comes to blood and bodily fluids, but I will give him props he held up well.  He was so funny when we had a moment to ourselves after everything was over and he looked at me and said, "  I know that I really didn't have to worry about hurting you when we had sex, but after watching everything that has happened today I know that there is absolutely no way that I could ever hurt you."  I couldn't help but laugh.  You know how men are with their egos and such, but I think after they watch their wives go through labor their egos have to shrink.  My husband was absolutely wonderful through the whole ordeal.  He always kept me informed when I was in recovery about what was going on with the boys.  I have a really big family so he was also having to deal with all of them as well.  I believe that he has finally gotten used to the fact that if I don't answer my phone or tell my mom what I am going to be doing she will call him and find out.  I think at first this really took him aback but it is old hat for him now.    I hope that your husbands are as great as mine and I would love to hear stories about what he did or didn't do when you had your kids.  Hope all is well

my first post.

I have been wanting to do this for a long time but haven't been able to get around to it.  One of my friends has a blog about the daily life of her family.  She has triplets and I have no idea how she does it.  Just to give you a little background on me.  I have to beautiful twin boys.  There names are Dylan and Conner.  They were born November 9th, 2008.  They were conceived by the popular way of getting pregnant these days, which is the help of modern technology.  I'm not sure anybody gets pregnant by having good ole sex anymore.  I have something called PCOS.  That is a fancy way of saying that I needed help to ovulate.  I took a lot of different drugs to help that process along, but injections were the trick.  They actually worked to good.  We did IUI (interuterine insemination)  and got 5 babies.  I had complications that ended me in and out of the hospital and had to eventually reduce to 2 babies.  To say that it was hard would be the biggest understatement of my life.  I know now that my husband and I made the right decision but I still think about it all of the time.  I do have 2 beautiful boys that are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.  Getting them here was also a huge struggle.  They were born at 30 weeks.  I have a massive abruption that caused them to come early.   I was put in the hospital for a week before they were born.  The doctors put me on Magnesium.  I am convinced that if the United States wants to get answers from terrorist then they should put them on a Mag drip and watch all of their secrets come pouring out.  I felt like my insides were burning.  I couldn't see straight because my eyes kept crossing.  It was miserable, but I kept telling myself it was all worth it.  I have to say it was but there were times that I doubted it.  Once the boys got here it was a circus.  They were immediately taken away to the NICU and I didn't get to see them forever.  They were so tiny.  Dylan weighed in at 2lbs 15oz and Conner 3lbs 2oz.  The looked like little rats.  They were so fragile and there was nothing I could do to make them better.  They weren't even 24 hours old and I already felt like a failure as a mother.  Conner had to a chest tube when he was three days old because of a pneumothorax.  That is a fancy way of saying he had an air leak in his lung.  I thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened.  Little did I know it was about to get a whole lot worst.  Dylan, my other son, had a heart arrhythmia that was found in utero.  Everyone kept telling me that it was okay and benign.  I really didn't understand what "benign" meant, but it sounded like it was going to be okay.  That was not the case.  Once he was born they discovered he had 2 arrhythmias.  He had a SVT(super ventricular tachycardia) arrhythmia.    Now most of the time this is not something that is life threatening however Dylan's was not able to be controlled with the usual medications.  Everything that they tried wouldn't work.  On his 5th day of life he was so sick we thought we were going to loose him.  His heart rate ran over 300 beats per minute for 6 or 7 hours.  He was transferred out of the hospital over to Children's Hospital.  The doctors were able to get him under control and we were able to return to the original hospital with Conner.  I was so thankful for this because we were having to go between two hospitals that were about 2o minutes apart.  I know that doesn't seem like much but we were 30 minutes from the closest one and 50 from the furthest one.  It was exhausting.  We went through 10 medications before the doctors finally got it right and had his heart under control well enough for us to come home.  The boys were in the hospital for 9 weeks.  They came home 2 days before their due date.  Conner came home wireless but Dylan had to wear a monitor to tell us when he was having a heart episode.  When he has an episode it is so scary.  The crazy part is that out of all the technology in the world the thing that will bring him out of it is a bag of ice to his forehead.  I know that sounds crazy but it works, and if it doesn't work then we get in the car and start speeding to the hospital.  I learned in the 9 weeks we were in the hospital that doctors are great but they really don't know half of the answers to your questions.  It is all just an educated guess.  Before all of this happened I really thought that there was a right answer and a wrong answer when it came to medicine, but I quickly learned that there is about 10.  They just pick the one that sounds the best and hope it works.  I understand that they went to school for a long time to make these educated guesses and I am glad that it is them and not me but it can be so frustrating when you just want a straight answer.  That is not something you will ever get when it comes to medicine.  That is run down on me and the boys up until they came home.  I hope that this will be a place where mothers can come and feel safe about expressing how they feel and what they go through on a daily basis.  I will be writing about my daily life bringing up twin boys.  I already have 5 months worth of craziness to get on here.  To say that I had no idea of what I was getting myself into is the understatement of the century.  Oh, did I mention that I was a nanny before I had kids?  I thought I was prepared for all of this, but I really have no clue what I am doing half of the time.  Stay sane and keep breathing!!!