Sunday, April 19, 2009

Let the craziness begin

We brought the boys home January 9th, 2009 and it was absolutely wonderful.  Thank goodness that I had so much help.  I have no idea what I would have done.  The boys were eating every 3 hours and they were taking about 30 minutes each to eat.  So if you do the math that is an hour for feeding , because they were 30 minutes apart.  So that left me 2 hours to pump, eat, sleep, and get ready for the next feeding.  The boys had to have special stuff put in their milk so it was a process to fix their bottles, and for some reason I was convinced I was the only one that could make it right.  You live and learn.  If I had to do it all over I would definitely let other people make bottles.  I made myself crazy worrying about getting bottles ready and making sure that the boys had their medications on time.  I am sure most first time moms can relate to what I am saying.  I did have wonderful help and their is no way I could ever express how thankful I am to them.  I wouldn't have made it without them.  
As the boys get older it has started to get a little bit easier.  Conner has started playing on his play mat by himself and Dylan is getting there.  Conner is really good with pacifying himself, but Dylan not so much.  I felt so bad last week when I took him to the doctor.  He has become an absolute nightmare to feed.  He screams if he even sees a bottle but yet he sucks on his hand and is starving.  He won't let me cradle him to feed him.  I have to hold him straight up and down.  After going through this for about a month I was so frustrated.  I actually thought that he was doing it to try me.  I know that he is only 5 months old but I had no other answer.  I was so tired and worn out that I really thought that my 5 month old was trying to upset me by screaming and not eating.  So we go to the pediatrician last Thursday and she tells me that it sounds like he has reflux really bad.  Well, naturally I feel like that biggest horses butt in the whole world.  My poor child is feeling like there is glass going down his throat and I'm thinking he is just trying to piss me off.  I got the medication that day to help and hopefully it will work.  I can't say that it is all that better today but I am hoping that by tomorrow it will have had enough time to get in his system and start working really good.  When I didn't have kids I was convinced that I would be a good mother, but now that I have them I don't have a clue what is going on half the time.  I have said all along that all of your brain cells go out of your uterus when you have kids, and it takes a good couple of years to recover.  Hope all is well.  Until next time......

2 comments:

  1. Kris, you're a great mommy! I'm still amazed at how great they are doing. You've done a wonderful job taking care of them. I hope Dylan is doing better...he looked good when I saw him eating yesterday! I miss you guys already. I had so much fun playing with Conner. I hope we can make it there in May. Love y'all!

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  2. I totally know what you are talking about. We had babies that would do that in the NICU and I would get SO frustrated with them. Someone finally explained to me that they were just in so much pain. It became much more tolerable once I understood. It's so hard to see that. Now, Haley is kind of doing something similar. We just started doing one bottle a night about a week ago and she just cries and cries when she is taking it. I think hers is more air in her belly that she doesn't understand. It absolutely kills me that it hurts her so bad. We are going to have to look for something to make it better.

    You are wonderful though, so don't you dare feel bad about yourself. It's really hard being a mom I have quickly come to realize!! I get so frustrated at night with her because she cries and wakes up Scott. I feel so guilty every morning that I have gotten so frustrated the night before. I think part of it is pure exhaustion. We can't be blamed, and you are not alone!

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